What codes are you speaking in your marriage?


Love & Respect Ch. 2

Sorry I’m a week late on this chapter. Having a busy week will do that for ya! Just want to start of by asking you how the challenge from Chapter 1 went? Wives were you able to show respect to your husbands? Husbands were you about to show love to your wives? Did you notice your spouse doing these things for you? The love and respect concept will continue to be the on-going challenge for the remainder of this book.

I hope everyone got a chance to read over chapter 2. What did you think? Did you learn something new from this chapter? I did!! Chapter 2 ‘To Communicate, Decipher the Code’ has some very basic yet compelling examples of how a husband and wife should interact towards one another. Eggerichs’ also points out ways in which couples do not do a good job at interacting appropriately.

Being married is amazing but in saying that it doesn’t go without those moments of disconnect when we don’t understand why our spouse feels a certain way. Because this is something that will definitely happen we must learn how to decipher our spouses “code”. On page 31, Eggerichs’ points out that sometimes the issue isn’t really the issue. How many times does that happen in your marriage? I know it happens in ours. Sometimes what seems to be the issue of the disagreement isn’t really what you are concerned with. This point is tied back to the story he told of the husband who got a birthday card unknowingly for his wife for their anniversary. For once he remember their anniversary without being reminded and he was so excited that he remember and that he even remembered to get her a card! When she opened it up she noticed it was a birthday card and it was their anniversary…. The wife was hurt that he didn’t even care about her enough to take the time to read the card before giving it to her….As a women I can see how she would feel that way. But the husband was actually caring for her and got her a card for once and actually remembered their anniversary. He was not being unloving towards her on purpose like she was feeling and she was not being disrespectful on purpose when she became angry. That is just how it came off to the other spouse. This iswhere it is important to be careful as to how your words and actions come off to your spouse.

Eggerichs likes to refer to women as pink and men as blue. Women look through a pair of pink sunglasses while men look though a pair of blue sunglasses. We both look at the same thing but how we see it is different. We have to know that there will be times when we do not see things as the other spouse does.

This week I want to challenge you to be aware of these things when you and your spouse do not see eye to eye. Just take a second in that moment and ask yourself…How is my spouse viewing this situation? And if you don’t know, then seek to understand.

>>>What part of this chapter was your favorite? Comment below.

One thought on “What codes are you speaking in your marriage?

  1. Pingback: Respect is the Key to Motivating a Husband | The Captivated Wife

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