Celebrating your differences as husband and wife

Ladies, have you ever wondered why sometimes your husband doesn’t get you? Or do you sometimes not get him? This happens often in marriages because men and women are so different. I was told by a friend this weekend to watch a sermon by Adrian Rogers. (link to video is below) He titled his sermon, “Celebrating the Difference”. I want to outline for you what Adrian spoke about in this video, but I also encourage you to watch it for yourself. 

The one question Adrian kept asking is, “Who is better? A man or a woman?”. And his answer, “Neither”. “God made us different so that He might make us one.” Isn’t that what marriage is all about? A husband and wife are to be and act as one. Ephesians 5:31 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” ESV Being one with your husband doesn’t not merely refer to a sexual oneness, although that is part of it. Being one in a marriage is about being on the same page as one another. This does not mean you will always agree, but striving to understand each other and to be united under Christ. Picture this…. If two people were conjoined together but, having separate limbs, heart, and mind, how can they function as a whole? One person would want to go one direction and the other person a different direction. In a marriage we are two separate people but with the same focus, that is Christ. When we are united with Christ our two separate bodies can become one flesh in mind, body, and spirit. This is a beautiful thing that God created. 

**First read Genesis 2:19-25 where God creates Eve for Adam**

In this sermon Adrian speaks of six main differences between a man and a woman. 

1. Beauty and the Beast

1 Peter 3:7 says, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as a weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” ESV  The man’s job is to be the provider and protector. Therefore a man must be strong to protect his wife. A woman’s job is to love and nurture. Giving her a soft heart in order to care for her husband. Women, just because we are weaker, does not mean that we are inferior to our husbands. Because women are delicate, a husband should take care of her as such. 

2. The Tortoise and the Hare

Men have more energy than women. As a wife, we should know this, to not over-work our husbands. They need their rest too. Because women do get tired faster than men, our husbands need to be able to recognize when we need a break. One of the main things about this difference that stuck out to me was that Adrian said, “Men are built to provide and protect, and she is not.” Ladies, that is a relief to us! This should drive us to be more thankful to our husbands. I know I am!

3. The Romantic and the Mechanic

Men have a hard outer shell while women are soft. Not only have I learn this from Adrian but also from experience. Men are not going to be as romantic as you would like. That is just not the way they were wired. And this is okay! Take a few minutes to read this verses. 

**Song of Solomon 3:1-4**  Here a women is expressing her love for her husband

**Song of Solomon 4:1-5**  Here a man is expressing how beautiful his wife is

So what does this tell us? Women are emotionally driven and men are visual creatures. Which is better? Neither! We are just different. As we see these differences though this should strive us to serve our spouse in what they need, even if it’s not what we want. 

4. The Radar and the Computer

Women are the radar and men are the computer. As a women we can process a lot of information at once unlike men. Men take things one at a time. Which is better? Neither! Both of these have their negatives. Although a woman can process more and can think emotionally and logically, we sometimes get the two confused. I probably speak for all women, but I like details. Have you ever asked your husband a question and he gives you a short answer? To him he answered the question, but to you he left you hanging. Women like to know all the details about everything. But on the other hand, men don’t. A way to give your husband what he wants is to not give him all the details all the time. Save that for your girlfiends. 

5. A Code Speaker and the Reporter

Women share and men report. Men, this one is for you. “Don’t listen to what a women says, listen to what a woman means.” Women speak in code. Whether this is a good thing or not we do it. We have to remember though that our husbands are not mind readers. We have to tell them what we want if we want them to understand. 

6. The Lover and the Achiever

In Ephesians 5 we learn that women want love and men want respect. Adrian states that, ” When a woman tells a man a problem, he will want to fix it. The woman does not want to fix it. She wants sympathy.  As a women I know this is true. 


In conclusion, remember that we must have a foundation in marriage but also be willing to be flexible with one another’s needs. 


 Celebrating the Differences – Adrian Rogers

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